Psalm 91

Psalm 91
Those who live in the shelter of the most high, will find rest in the shadow of the almighty.
This I declare about the Lord, He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God and I trust Him.
For He rescues you from every trap and protects you from deadly disease.
He will cover you with His feathers and shelter you with His wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day.
Do not be afraid of the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you.
Just open your eyes and see how the wicked are punished.
If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the most high your shelter, no evil will conquer you.
No plague will come near your home.
For He will order His angels to protect you wherever you go.
They will hold you up with their hands so that you won't even hurt your foot on a stone.
You will trample on lions and cobras; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet.
The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me; I will protect those who trust in my name.
They will call on me and I will answer.
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honour them.
I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation"

You would think that I memorized this passage in tranquility as we enjoyed the first week of 2011.

No.

The very night of New Years day my children began with the flu and we missed church the next day.
I had to work from home when they should have returned to school which was challenging. I really needed to get back to my office. I worked eleven hours straight from my home office that day only to find myself in the throes of the flu as I retired for the night.
I quoted the few lines I had memorized and felt mocked as I talked about being protected from deadly disease.

"Some protection....you're pretty sick."

I ignored the doubts and kept quoting the words over in my mind until the worst part of the flu finally relented and I slept.
My first coherent moments the next day were in the late afternoon. I was unable to get up but I was awake so I tackled a few more verses. I really believe God's grace was on me because memorization of anything is a challenge for me, but I was picking up the verses quickly.

I was able to return to work only to find that a major decision that had been settled several months before, had not been settled after all and all my neatly thought-out roles and plans were essentially swept into chaos. I began to react emotionally and went home devastated. I had no idea how I was going to cope with the next three months of my life. I cried. I ranted. I weighed all my options and I didn't like the outcome. I was going to deal with my new circumstances whether I liked it or not. I was angry, outraged and the fear was all over me. I didn't get a moment of peaceful sleep as I alternated between despair and trying to quote the comforting words of Psalm 91. In the morning I felt war-torn.

So it wasn't going to be easy, I realized. Was the battle getting worse because my enemy knew that I had latched on to something important? Was I handed this coping strategy not because my circumstances were going to improve but instead going to get worse? I wasn't altogether comforted and I knew I had no choice but to go forward and see what the outcome would be.