Sam-e and Me

From the beginning of this blog I have shared openly that I have been struggling with anxiety. In fact, this project of memorizing passages of scripture is not meant to be a display of spiritual prowess but rather the practical fight to regain peace of mind by filling it with truth.

I read today in my First Place Bible study book that "Anxiety is fear projected into the future. At it's root is a lack of trust in God's providence, protection and ongoing provision". I believe that definition is true. As a Christian of many years it is painful for me to admit that I have been battling this.

The good news is that meditating on scripture has helped quite a bit. I still have bad days as circumstances come up but for the first time I feel hopeful that I have found a solution and that after a year of this "medicine" I will see huge changes not only in my anxiety levels but in my behaviour and relationships as well.

You can imagine my upset then, when I woke recently from a nightmare struggling to breathe and experiencing chest pains. My first thought was that I was having a heart attack but since I am fit and have had tests prove that my heart is healthy I reasoned that it was more likely a panic attack. I don't get them often but after a near-death experience after the birth of my daughter, I had gotten a few panic attacks and knew what they felt like.
I woke Shawn and asked him to pray for me. He did and I tried to go back to sleep but the symptoms were very strong. I tried quoting the scripture passages and I searched my mind for the reason for such a severe onset of anxiety.
In the morning I was exhausted and disheartened. What was going on? Was it hormones? Had I opened the door to a spiritual attack? Was the battle against anxiety hopeless? I prayed for God to reveal the source of this unusually severe display of symptoms.
It came back to my remembrance that both my husband & I had taken a dose of Sam-e the day before. Sam-e is an over the counter pharmaceutical product advertised by a major big-box store in the States. It started out as a joke.

After a particularly crazy day at work my husband announced that he wanted me to buy him some Sam-e. What was that? He read the advertisement, "It restores your good mood naturally." I laughed and laughed and teased him about needing to have a good mood in the first place. We bought a bottle and I noticed that it claimed not only to boost your mood but it was also beneficial for joints. I've been having some knee trouble so I decided to try it too.
A warning on the label caught me by surprise. It had a warning that is associated with anti-depressant medication. Anti-depressant medications have a myriad of negative side-affects and are addictive so that is an avenue of anxiety relief I have refused to take. This couldn't be the same thing, I reasoned.
Yet, here I was having a physical reaction within 24 hours of taking only two capsules of the Sam-e. I said something to Shawn about my suspicions that the product we had tried had caused my malaise during the night. He doubted this because the bottle said it took a couple weeks to experience any benefits so it also had to be too early to experience side effects too. He felt fine. I am smaller than him, had just completed a food cleanse and am generally more sensitive so I decided to check out the Internet. Sure enough, I found that many people had the symptoms I had experienced after minimal doses. I was both relieved and concerned. How could a seemingly innocent over-the-counter product be so volatile? I had thought it was a harmless herbal supplement, but realized that it was not an herbal supplement at all.
This confirmed in me that the answer to my issue is not going to be found in a bottle. Not all that promises help and comfort, is beneficial. Memorizing & quoting scripture is free from negative side effects and more than ever I am convinced that we need to be mindful of what we put into our body.

Within two weeks of writing this blog, Shawn also had to discontinue the use of this product. He also began to wake troubled and unable to sleep. This is not characteristic of him at all and his sleep patterns returned to normal after a week of being off this product. We returned it to the store. Scary, huh?